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Playful, Loving, Funny, Great Listener Typing out in some frustration here...
I just got off the with a good friend just now (a guy) who is processing a breakup and just needed someone to listen to him and not fix him. I listened, validated what he expressed, reminded him of what was "her stuff" that was about her and challenged him on what was "his stuff" and asked what he could own for himself, what he liked about himself and what he believes is his challenge to change so that he becomes that more accessible man that women will trust. We were able to discuss what he does and how he wants to show up differently so that his love is more direct and fierce and less-encumbered. He thanked me for being there and for being such a great and empathic listener, a sensitive man who holds space for him without judgment and without running an agenda.
Yep, that's me. It frustrates Ladies looking sex tonight New york NewYork 10038 me that nine years after being divorced that I have had just one, short-lived relationship with a woman since then. Granted, it was four years after the split and after I had done a ton of work on myself. I showed up so differently than I had with my ex-wife, so much more clean, direct and open and with a woman who was so much softer than my ex. I broke the cycle of putting myself in old, toxic dynamics and that was wonderfully satisfying to have made that change. The end of the short-term romance was my realization that the woman I was with was limited in her ability to play. She was/is a very sweet person. She just wasn't for me.
So I sit here now wondering what do I do to meet her. (You?) I go out with friends - good, loving men with loving hearts - and I watch and listen as they look at women and give their accolades and judgments based on what they see on the outside. Yeah, the outside is important, but it's only - what, I don't know - 10 per cent? 5 per cent? 20 per cent? of the total picture. Yes, I want an attractive woman who takes care of herself and is in good shape, but it's the heart that's the most important. I have so much deep, loving heart to share and I want to find her to share it with.
I am indeed typing this out in frustration. Perhaps you share this frustration. Perhaps you are so tired of finding men who don't do it for you and/or aren't there for you - or able to be there for you. Gawd, I wish I had the answer. I'd bottle it up, take the profits and send them all to our military to help them with their crimped budget.
Here's my frustrated desire. I would love to find a woman who is playful, loving, adventurous, colors outside the lines, sensitive, challenging and willing and desirous to open her heart to her man. I still have fear about initiating conversations with women, yet once I do I totally open up and am comfortable in my skin with wherever the conversation goes. I struggle with this, needless as it is; a vestige of my past and hence the post here instead of me just striking up a conversation with you when I see you at the bookstore or grocery.
Which leads to... I am also a realist. I have baggage. (See above for one of those pieces.) I am suspicious of anyone who says they don't have baggage. (If you don't, then bless you! And why aren't you in a deeply loving and committed relationship at this age if you don't have baggage?!! Why are you trolling CL right now if you have such a great life?! Who knows - bad stuff happens and maybe you Interracial dating 've found yourself in a place of starting over unexpectedly... I am not pretending to have all of the answers at all.) What I want is a woman who knows her challenges and is working them. I know mine and I work them regularly. LOOKING TO FUCK AND EAT SUM PUSSY MA. I sit in circle with fiercely loving and challenging men who help me help myself to continually become a clearer, more loving and direct and powerful man. I don't want perfection in a woman, but rather a woman committed to walking towards that perfection and preferably wanting to walk towards that with a loving, male companion.
Me: I live in the mountains and am surrounded by serenity, quiet, sweet mountain air and good neighbors. I am physiy active and in good shape; not chiseled, buff, Boulder-man shape; just in good shape. I am quasi-artistic. I love playing. I have a terrific sense of humor. I love spicy food. I primarily follow three basic rules in life: "1) Love myself in all of my thoughts, feelings and actions. (I sometimes forget this, which is why I have my supporting friends); 2) Do unto others as I would have them do unto me; 3) Look both ways before crossing the street." The "other rules" we have in society don't hold so much for me, though, hence the "color outside the lines" part of me. I dedicate part of my life to helping others and giving back/paying forward to those who've helped me (I'm on the local fire department and I volunteer with various groups assisting others in support of them healing themselves from life's traumas.) I love deeply and fiercely and am a great friend. I want a playful, adventurous, at-least-somewhat-if-not-completely-athletic woman who wants to love and be loved deeply.
Big pluses: You love bicycling and going for long rides. You love great sex (and going for long rides!) You like playing simply for playing's sake. You color outside the lines at times, too. You don't have a lot of rules, other than those that come from your heart. You're your own woman, whatever that means to you. You have a great circle of supportive women in your life. You are willing to open your heart deeply - at whatever rate feels safe to you - and you're willing to be lovingly challenged in that arena and challenge back as well.
There, I feel less frustrated now! Are you out there reading this right now? Sheesh, I sure hope so!
I'm going for a bike ride.
Give a shout back and let's talk to see if we're compatible. I'd love it if you sent a picture yet at the same time not so attached to that. Age? Not so important, but what is hugely important is that you are young on the inside and willing to either keep up or else have such energy that forces me to keep up with you.
Bonne chance to us both!
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